Mum & Dad

“Parents deserve a college graduation present, too”, – the title of an article published in The New York times recently. While many graduates seem to receive gifts to mark their achievement, this article talks about how in some cultures it is almost compulsory for the graduates to give their parents a gift as a way of thanking them for their support.

So this got me thinking: parents really are the unsung heroes of universities. Essentially students are the athletes who get the medals and the glory, and our parents are the coaches who are the constant, doing their best work behind the scenes. (With the Olympics in full swing I figured this was an appropriate comparison).

I guess I never really thought about the impact my attending university could have on them, at least not until I had a number of people telling me how important graduation ceremonies are to the parents of the graduates (cue me feeling even more selfish for depriving mine of that). However for many students, completing the actual degree is just one (very important and expensive) part of university. This is a time when you gain independence, grow as a person, attempt to figure out who or what you want to be, but most importantly meet so many incredible people and become friends with people who will be with you for life.

However as always, hindsight is a wonderful thing, and looking back I realise that while I saw myself becoming more independent and growing up (a little), Mum and Dad were there every step of the way. They took me down to Massey University in February 2011 to move me into my new room. They drove hundreds, if not thousands, of kilometres to cart my belongings between Auckland and Palmerston North as I moved from place to place. There was also this one time Mum came to visit for a few days in my second year semester break when I was the only one left still working. She subsequently returned home with bronchitis, and honestly, given the state of the flat I was living in at the time, it wouldn’t surprise me if the timing of her illness wasn’t a coincidence.

I then left them in NZ while I went to England to finish my degree. We were on opposite sides of the planet when I handed in my final assignments, when I received notice that I had passed my degree, when I won a prize at the RAU for being the top international student (I’m still convinced they made a mistake), when my degree certificate was posted to our home in NZ, and finally, when I was thrown a surprise graduation.

But aside from what they were or weren’t able to physically be there for, they never faltered during the whole time I was studying. They’ve nagged me at the right times to get my work done and celebrated results with me, even when I was convinced I could have done better. They’ve put money into my bank account so I have no excuse to not go to the doctor on the weekend when I had tonsillitis but “weekend prices are too expensive”. They consoled me when I was rejected from vet school and celebrated with me when I was accepted on to the exchange program to England. And then they put so much into helping me get to England at all. They patiently bit their tongues year-after-year when I got out the “course-related costs” loan, which I’m sure they thought weren’t directly going towards my course. Dad also patiently sat on the other end of the phone when I called him in the early hours of the morning in England after a night out with my friends.

In a way, tertiary education is a bit of a selfish time in your life. You choose to study for yourself – for the first time in your life education isn’t compulsory.

So here’s to the parents who have worried about their kids as they left home to start university and head towards independence. The parents who had to come to terms with the fact they wouldn’t know what their kids would be doing at all hours. Who had to bail them out when things got a little tough (the first time, and every time after that). Who commiserated with us, celebrated with us and (probably) breathed a sigh of relief when we got confirmation that we had completed our degrees.

Mum and Dad are my number one supporters, and I’m their number one fan.

Unlike the Berkeley graduate who gave his mother a Louis Vuitton handbag, or the one who paid a large chunk towards her mother’s new Audi Q7, I’m yet to give my parents a gift to express my gratitude. (Although I did kindly leave them my horse, let’s not forget).

But words seem to be what I’m better at (this on the back of a conversation I had with my family about previous Christmas presents gifted by me). So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being you, and letting me be me. This one’s for you, guys.

“Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first.” - Matthew Jacobson

That’s all for now,

Jordyn x