Oh Hey There Reality!

As is typical of me, I like to analyse every situation to within an inch of its life and

I’ve been doing a bit of thinking lately, about how I’ve ended up in a world I knew I would be in one day, but had no idea it would be like this.

I’m in a different situation now than I have ever been, and this has two parts to it. This first is that moving to England in 2014, the USA in 2015 and Ireland earlier this year, each time they had an expiry date. Although I now have a two-year work visa for the UK (with an expiry date) it seems a little different. Two years is quite a long time, and I try not to look too far in the future. ‘Living in the moment’ if you will, in the least clichéd version of that phrase. The second part of this situation is that this time I haven’t come to a place that has a built-in social life waiting for me. You’ll see what I mean later on…

So it is thinking about this that has finally opened my eyes to the fact that I’ve kind of started a new chapter in my life without really realising it. It sounds stupid, but I’ve been so busy putting one foot in front of the other that I hadn’t even noticed the page turn. The new chapter is me moving back to the UK. I mean obviously it was going to be a new chapter – I’d packed up my entire life into two suitcases yet again and had a new page of my passport stamped.

But I guess it wasn’t until I’d had a moment of reflection, a chance to kind of think about where I am now that this hit me – when reality actually caught up with me. Nothing too deep, more of a “shit, when did this happen?” kind of moment. You see, I was looking at other blogs online, and through that I came across this article from a Yale graduate – Marina Keegan. It was published in the Yale News as her class of 2012 was preparing to graduate. In this article, titled “The Opposite of Loneliness”, she echoed many of the things that I realised that I had missed since I left university. (For any current or former student reading this, give her article a read – you won’t regret it). Upon submitting my final pieces of coursework, I wasn’t thinking of what the future would bring me, but I was dwelling on the things that it wouldn’t – living with/next door to some of my closest friends, partying on a Wednesday night knowing I could sleep all day Thursday if I wanted to, even doing all-nighters to finish assignments.

So I hadn’t put too much consideration into this whole ‘university to full-time employment’ transition. The beauty of starting university is that there’s always going to be a bunch of students who are in the same boat, and who are all as desperate as you are to not end up all alone with no friends. But in all of the career-advice seminars/lectures/advertisements you get thrown at you during tertiary education, you never get told what real-life will actually be like after you graduate. You get told how to write a CV, the right answers to give/questions to ask in job interviews, even how to dress appropriately (because obviously jandals, sweatpants and the singlet you acquired in a bar in Greece might be fine in the student library, but not so fine in the office), however the advice on the transition from full-time study to full-time work doesn’t come.

At the culmination of your chosen degree, there is so much importance placed on actually getting a job, that no one tells you what it will be like if you are fortunate enough to be selected for employment. I was lucky that when I was offered a position on a graduate program, there were three other young women chosen alongside me. This meant that despite the fact that three out of the four of us were moving to a new country for a few months where we didn’t know a soul, at least we had each other, in the same way you have all the other first years/freshers/freshmen when you begin university. After this was over, I was sent on to the Irish office on a temporary basis, but fortunately already knew another colleague there, so that transition was rather seamless. But then I moved to my current destination, and I’m slowly learning what no one warned me about. Don’t get me wrong, I can see the beauty of being unaware of what’s to come, it’s how we learn (and generally it’s something I treasure). But a little heads-up wouldn’t go amiss in this case.

What I’m talking about is that when most people finally enter the big-wide world of a full-time job, they enter it alone. When you start a new job straight out of university, there’s a good chance you are going to be by far the youngest person there. Not only that, but everyone already has their own lives – families, social circles, hobbies/sports etc. So, especially if you’re anything like me and you’ve started a new job in a new town (or a new country), it can be rather interesting to say the least. While I sit through lunchtime conversations about people’s children, a topic of terror for many 23-year-olds, I try not to join the conversation using anecdotes that prove my youth (and perceived inferiority). I am alone here. I have friends in the country, sure, but I have never been completely by myself like this. And no one warns you about this as you finish your degree.

So this brings me back around to my realisation that I’ve started a new chapter. I’m in a new place, living solo (temporarily), I don’t have a car and I know nobody in this little town. So yeah, at times it’s tough. Potentially made tougher but things like the following example…

I recently attended my old university’s May Ball. It was amazing to be back with old friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen for almost a year. However I ended that weekend on a mental low note, as it hit me that this was no longer my lifestyle. I was headed back to my empty house to get ready for another week of work, contemplating the fact that while many of my friends lived within speaking or walking distance to each other I most certainly did not. Being a student will always be one of my favourite things that I’ve done in this lifetime, and while I wholeheartedly love my job, the more nostalgic side of me craved living that student lifestyle again.

However it was one of those times where I just had to suck it up and remind myself of the age old saying, “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it’s happened”. I know full well that I chose this life, and I chose it for a reason – to remain outside of my comfort zone. For the first time in my life I’m completely by myself, something that I don’t do well. University taught me how to be independent, in the realms of a comfortable environment. Employment is continuing that lesson, only with much less comfort. And now I’ve realised that this is where the title of my website really comes in – “Understanding The Other Side”. I’ll let you in on a little secret – I had some help coming up with the name, in the form of my wonderful parents. Isn’t it ironic that the two people who have set me up so well to take on this world, also came up with this name that I didn’t fully grasp the relevance of until now? Only now am I starting to understand what life after university is really like. At least I think I am…

So this new chapter is scary, surprising, exciting and unpredictable, and while it might be the least comfortable chapter yet, it still gives me great excitement as I think about what the future holds, and then realise that I have absolutely no bloody idea. How lucky am I?

With that said, I have no idea where this blog is headed in the future. I will continue to write, because I love it, and I will continue to put my ramblings on this website, in the hope that someone out there gets even the smallest bit of enjoyment, advice, inspiration or provoked thought out of it. (I also paid for this domain name, so the student in me is going to make sure I get value for money). But, if you have any other ideas, suggestions (or even complaints), please let me know. Otherwise, I’m off on holiday to Croatia in two weeks so prepare for the recap and the awful photos that are bound to accompany it, and until then, enjoy!

“Too blessed to be stressed.” – Unknown

That’s all for now,

Jordyn x